Head Rush
by Follow-The-Firefly
Summary: When Deidara comes to Akatsuki, Sasori is less than pleased. But events occur that cause the Puppet Master to change his mind. Who feels for who first? And who admits it first? Rated T for Hidan being Hidan. Side pairings: KakuHi and KiTachi
1. Welcome to Akatsuki

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did...i really don't know what i would do.**

**It's Mika-chan! I'm starting a lot of stories, aren't i? This is a little different than my usual SasoDei. There will be KakuHi and KiTachi as side pairings...yeah. Let the deadly tale begin!**

"No. Absolutely not."

Sasori was standing in the living room with Pein and Kisame. Before them stood a young blonde ninja from Iwa. Long blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail, but some hair remained to cover one side of his face.

"You're going to have to live with it, Sasori." Pein said. "Deidara is your partner."

"Orochimaru left." Kisame said, leaning against SHARKSKIN.

"I'm aware of that, Kisame." The redhead said. "But why him?"

"What's wrong with me, un?" the blonde known as Deidara asked.

"You look like you'll get killed on the very first mission, idiot." Sasori said harshly.

"You'll have to live with it." Pein said. "Akatsuki needs a new member and Deidara can take Orochimaru's spot."

"I still don't like it…" Sasori said, knowing that he would never win this fight.

"You'll meet the other members soon." Pein told Deidara. "But first, you must scratch out your headband."

"Why?" Deidara asked.

"You are severing any ties you have with your village by joining Akatsuki." Kisame explained. "You will no longer call Iwa your home."

"I don't call it my home anyway, hmm." Deidara nodded.

"You will receive your first mission with Sasori in a few days." Pein told Deidara. "In that time, I suggest you get used to the way things are run around here."

Deidara nodded. Kisame and Pein left for their rooms, leaving Deidara and Sasori standing by themselves.

"What now, un?" Deidara asked.

"We need to get you a cloak." Sasori said.

Deidara followed the Puppet Master into his room. While the redhead looked through his closet, Deidara asked, "So what do we do here?"

"Right now," Sasori began, "We are trying to capture the Beasts."

"Which ones do we have now, un?" Deidara asked.

"Several." Sasori said. "We don't have enough to finance another capture."

"Finance?" Deidara frowned.

"Each capture costs a lot of money." Sasori explained. "Hidan and Kakuzu, mostly Kakuzu, are the bounty fetchers. Much to Hidan's dislike, of course." He pulled out a cloak, sized it on Deidara, and then put it back, deciding that it was too small. "Kakuzu does a lot of the money management. He calls himself the Treasurer."

"Is he, hmm?" Deidara asked.

"Nope." Sasori said. "Hidan considers himself the master at religions, but he's a pain in the ass." He rolled his eyes. "Always trying to convert everyone. And that's another thing." Sasori turned to face the blonde.

"What is?"

"If Hidan tries to convert you, which he will, just attack him or something." Sasori said. "Well, don't. It's ridiculously hard to kill him."

"Just stab him in the heart, un." Deidara said.

"It won't work." Sasori shook his head. "Hidan is a Jashinist, which makes him Immortal. He's always said if there's a way to kill himself, he'd done it years ago."

"Is he suicidal?" Deidara asked.

"Nah." Sasori shook his head. "He's just violent like that." He found a cloak and handed it to Deidara. "See if this fits, idiot."

"Why do you keep calling me idiot?" Deidara scowled as he pulled on the black cloak.

"Because you are one." Sasori said. "How does it feel?"

"It fits." Deidara said. "Do I wear this all the time?"

"Yep." Sasori said. "And we have to paint your nails."

"My nails, un?!" Deidara yelped. "Why?"

"It's the rule." Sasori shrugged.

"What colour?" Deidara asked.

"Everyone wears purple." Sasori explained.

"But yours are green, un." Deidara pointed out.

"I can't help that." Sasori said. "I'll explain later. It has nothing to do with the colour of the nail polish, but the colour of my nails."

Deidara wasn't sure what Sasori meant, but decided to drop the subject.

"So when do I paint my nails, hmm?" Deidara asked.

"You could start now." Sasori said, tossing the blonde a new jar of nail polish. "I need to redo mine too."

The 2 walked out to the living room, where a certain silver-haired Jashinist was on the floor in the middle of a praying session.

"Don't forget to clean up the blood, Hidan." Sasori reminded him.

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Hidan snapped, amethyst eyes closed.

"Kakuzu and I always have to clean up the blood that _you _use for your praying sessions." The redhead said. "And we're going to paint Deidara's nails now."

"So this is the new kid, huh?" Hidan said, opening his eyes and scanning Deidara up and down. "What village is he from?"

"Iwa." Deidara said.

"Jutsu type?"

"Works of art, un."

"Huh?"

Deidara reached his hand into the clay pouch at his side and ingested some explosive clay. After working with it for a few seconds, the palm-mouths produced 2 small clay spiders. Deidara threw them in the air, made a hand sign, and yelled, "Katsu!" The birds exploded, causing Hidan to jump back a few feet. Sasori, on the other hand, remained calm and didn't react.

"What in the name of Jashin-sama was that?" Hidan demanded.

"My art." Deidara said. "I use explosions to defeat the enemy."

"Just as long as you don't fucking blow up the fucking hideout." Hidan said.

"Don't you have something to do, Hidan?" Sasori said impatiently to the Jashinist.

"Actually, yes." Hidan said. "I need to wake up Kakuzu."

"Don't be so loud." Sasori said. "Last time was bad enough."

"Don't count on it." Hidan smiled as he entered what Deidara assumed was Kakuzu's room, whoever Kakuzu was.

"What do you mean by 'last time'?" the blonde frowned.

"Kakuzu and Hidan were having sex really loudly." Sasori said simply, like there was nothing unusual about this. "And annoying the rest of us."

"Hidan's gay, un?" Deidara frowned.

"Since he's going out with Kakuzu, I'd say yes." Sasori said. "Nails, Deidara."

Deidara nodded. Slowly, he took the brush out of the jar of nail polish and slowly spread it across his left thumb.

"Are any of the other members going out?" Deidara asked.

"Leader and Konan, for one." Sasori said. "And Itachi and Kisame. Basically, everyone besides me and Zetsu. And now you."

"Do I have to wear nail polish all the time?" Deidara asked.

"All the time." Sasori sighed. "Didn't I tell you this already?"

"No…" Deidara frowned.

"Well, I'm telling you now, idiot." Sasori said.

"But this is so girly, un!" Deidara complained.

"I don't care if it's girly or not." Sasori said, now painting his own nails.

"What torture are we going to do after this?" Deidara said, slightly angry. "Dye our hair?"

"Don't be smart with me." Sasori snapped.

Deidara scowled, but said, "So what _are _we doing, un?"

"You already have a ring, don't you?" Sasori asked.

"Leader gave me one already." Deidara said, twisting the lid back on the nail polish jar.

"At least you know not to call Leader-sama by his name." Sasori looked relieved. "And we don't have to worry about a ring…"

"So we can make works of art?" Deidara asked eagerly.

"We need to find out who is making dinner." Sasori said.

"Dinner?" Deidara frowned. "We mean we actually make dinner, hmm?"

"What do you think we do?" Sasori snapped. "Order from the closet sushi bar?"

"I seriously doubted it…" Deidara realized that he had said the wrong thing.

Sasori ignored the blonde and walked over to the fridge, where a calendar was hanging on the side. After looking at it for a moment, the redhead said, "Kakuzu…"

"So let's go find him." Deidara said.

"He's with Hidan." Sasori said.

"Oh." Deidara said. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Hidan is very protective of Kakuzu when they're having sex." Sasori explained. "This is why you must _never _interrupt them. I am warning you with every fiber of my being."

"How did you find that out, hmm?" Deidara asked.

"It doesn't matter." The Puppet Master said quickly.

* * *

Hidan woke up, wondering what time it was. The problem was, he couldn't tell because he had thrown his clock at the wall when he stained his cloak with blood. Ah well. He'd have to find another one eventually. He looked over to see Kakuzu waking up.

"What time is it?" the stitched-nin asked.

"No idea." Hidan said, "I threw my clock against the wall."

"Why?" Kakuzu asked, though he probably knew the answer.

"I was mad." Hidan said.

"You need anger management, Hidan." Kakuzu said, sitting up.

"You always say that." Hidan said. "But being violent is part of my personality! That's just who I am!"

"At least tone it down a bit, ok?" Kakuzu requested. "I don't want to have to sew your head on again."

"But I like it when you sew my head back on." Hidan said, running his fingers along a fresh scar on his neck.

"But it's annoying for me." The stitched-nin said.

"Have you met the new member yet?" Hidan asked, turning over on his side so he could properly talk to his partner.

"Not yet." Kakuzu said. "What's he like?"

"He's from Iwa." Hidan said. "And a pain in the ass…"

"How so?" Kakuzu asked patiently.

"He thinks explosions are works of art." Hidan rolled his amethyst eyes. "And he just doesn't understand anything."

"He's new." Kakuzu said. "I remember when you first joined, Hidan."

"But I wasn't as bad as Deidara." Hidan said.

"Not quite." Kakuzu said. "But you _did _try to kill almost everyone."

"Can you blame me?" Hidan smiled, something he didn't do very often.

"I killed every single partner before you got here." Kakuzu replied. "If I could tone it down, so can you."

"But I like being violent." Hidan said.

Kakuzu was the only person who ever saw this side of Hidan. Normally, Hidan was rude, repulsive, and downright violent. But when he was alone with Kakuzu, the Jashinist became a lot calmer and didn't feel the need to curse 10 times in a sentence like he usually does. Kakuzu tried to get Hidan to behave this way normally, but the stitched-nin gave up, seeing that Hidan would always be the same around the rest of Akatsuki.

Before Kakuzu could reply, someone knocked on the door.

"What?" the stitched-nin asked.

"It's Sasori and Deidara." Came Sasori's voice. "Can we come in?"

"Tell them no." Hidan muttered under his breath.

"It's ok." Kakuzu said.

The door opened and Deidara and Sasori walked inside. Deidara seemed somewhat embarrassed at seeing Hidan and Kakuzu in bed with each other, and avoided eye contact with either ninja.

"What is it, Sasori?" Kakuzu asked.

"It's your turn to make dinner." The redhead replied.

"I forgot about that." Kakuzu said. "I'll be out in a minute. I need to pry Hidan off of me."

Sasori nodded and departed with Deidara following close behind.

"Now we have to make dinner." Kakuzu said.

"What do you mean 'we'?" the Jashinist questioned.

"You're helping me make dinner." Kakuzu replied.

"You know I end up burning everything!" Hidan exclaimed.

"That's because you start praying while it's cooking." Kakuzu said, pulling on a pair of pants. "You're going to learn how to cook properly."

"I hope you know I won't be as good as Itachi." Hidan said.

Out of all of the Akatsuki, Itachi cooked the best food. Best meaning that the food wasn't burnt or unrecognisable. Kakuzu was known for making unusual dishes and using the other members as guinea pigs to see if the food was edible or not.

"No one is as good as Uchiha." Kakuzu said. "Let's get going. You know how Kisame doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Leaving the room, Kakuzu and Hidan walked out to the living room to find Deidara and Sasori still painting their nails.

"I guess this is Deidara, ne?" Kakuzu assumed, since he had never seen the blonde before in his life.

"That's right." Sasori said. "The pain in the ass that he is."

"I'm not a pain in the ass, Danna!" Deidara glared at the redhead.

"Did you just call him Danna?" Hidan raised his eyebrows.

"What else am I supposed to call him, un?" Deidara frowned.

"Not Danna." Kakuzu pulled Hidan by the arm to the kitchen. "And what's with the weird speech?"

"That's how I am, hmm." Deidara nodded. "I don't even know I'm doing it."

"That explains a lot." Sasori rolled his eyes.

A few minutes later, Kakuzu and Hidan were arguing over what dinner would be. Deidara wondered if he would ever get used to being in Akatsuki.

**Am i using enough detail? i really need to work on that...review please!!**

**next chapter: what do Hidan and Kakuzu make? is it edible?**


	2. A so called dinner

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot. Naruto and Akatsuki belong to Kishimoto-sensei**

**It's Mika-chan! I have some bad news. My mom took away my laptop, so time between updates will be longer. i do all of my writing on my laptop, so this i a major blow for me. but i might be getting it back soon. i'm just letting you guys know. i hope you enjoy this chapter. it certianly made me laugh. let the deadly tale continue!**

"What in hell are you guys making?!"

Itachi, Deidara and Sasori were in the living room; Itachi was playing Halo, Sasori was working on a puppet, and Deidara was reading a new issue of _Rolling Stone_. Hidan and Kakuzu were in the kitchen making dinner. Or what should be dinner. Black smoke was rising from the stove, causing the room to smell rather unpleasantly.

"We are _supposed _to be making grilled shrimp and chicken." Kakuzu said. "But Hidan set the stove too high."

"So he burned the food." Itachi rolled his eyes. "Great."

"It's not all burned, Uchiha." Hidan snapped.

"Hidan, there is no way that any of that can be edible with all of that smoke." Sasori looked over his shoulder from his worktable to the kitchen, where ugly black smoke was still hovering over the stove.

"Please tell me you're starting over." Itachi said, eyes returning to the video game.

"Of course." Kakuzu said. "Zetsu's the only one who eats burnt food, and he isn't here."

"Thank Jashin-sama." Hidan said.

"Do you guys need any help, un?" Deidara asked the two in the kitchen.

"It's ok, Deidara." Kakuzu said.

"If you say so." Deidara said, turning his attention back to the magazine.

"Hidan, you don't put vanilla in shrimp!" Kakuzu yelled.

Sasori shook his head in annoyance. Itachi didn't seem to hear the stitched-nin, since he was still focused on the video game.

"But I like vanilla with shrimp." Hidan replied.

"But no one else does!" Kakuzu yelled. "Go get some more shrimp. We're starting over."

"Thank kami-sama." Itachi said.

"Shut it, Uchiha." Hidan said, getting shrimp from the freezer.

"Anything new in the music world, idiot?" Sasori asked.

Deidara assumed that Sasori was referring to him. After all, Sasori didn't call anyone else idiot.

"Dir en Grey's coming out with a new album this year, un." Deidara said.

"Really?" Kakuzu looked surprised. "Does it say when?"

"Sometime this year. That's it." Deidara said. "You listen to Diru?"

"Just about everyone here does." Sasori said. "It's the one band that Hidan got everyone else into."

"Because their videos remind me of Jashin-sama." Hidan said.

"We don't watch the videos." Itachi said, turning off the PlayStation.

"What else, idiot?" Sasori asked.

"Not much music related." Deidara said.

"Anything at all?" Itachi asked.

"Nothing really interesting, hmm." Deidara said.

"Are you sure you don't need help, Kakuzu?" Sasori asked the stitched-nin.

"I don't think so." Kakuzu shook his head.

"We'd be done by now if I wasn't here." Hidan said, adding chicken to the shrimp.

"But you'd never learn to cook any other way." Kakuzu said.

"And we are _not _suffering through anything burnt." Itachi said, looking bored.

"Have we added Deidara to the rotation yet?" Kakuzu asked.

"I added him a while ago." Sasori said.

"You don't burn anything, do you?" Itachi asked the blonde.

"Not very much, un." Deidara said.

"That's good." Itachi said.

"What do we do now?" Deidara asked.

"I'm working on puppets." Sasori said.

"I'm gonna go get my DS, hmm." Deidara said, walking to his room.

Once Deidara was gone, Hidan said, "You really don't like him, do you Sasori?"

"He seems like he'd die on the first mission." Sasori said.

"But you don't know that." Itachi said. "Apparently, he was pretty good at destroying buildings in Iwa."

"But we don't always destroy buildings, Itachi." Sasori told the Uchiha. "We actually fight, something I'm not sure he can do."

"We didn't think you'd be a very good fighter, Sasori." Kakuzu said. "But you turned out alright."

The conversation was ended when Deidara walked back in the room, blue DS in hand.

"What are you playing?" Kakuzu asked.

"_Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories_." The blonde replied, sinking into the couch.

"You know we have that for PS2, right?" Hidan said.

"I like it for GameBoy better, un." Deidara said.

"Hidan, make sure the shrimp doesn't get burnt." Kakuzu told the Jashinist.

"It won't." Hidan said, glaring at Kakuzu.

"So what do we do now?" Itachi asked.

"I dunno, Itachi." Sasori said. "I need to finish this puppet. It's been acting up for a while. Ever since Hidan put glue in the joints."

"I was bored." Hidan shrugged.

"So you put glue in my puppets?" Sasori raised his eyebrows.

"I think it's done." Kakuzu said. "Go get Kisame, Itachi."

Itachi glared at the stitched-nin with Sharingan eyes, but went to fetch his partner. He returned with the shark-nin a few minutes later and joined everyone else at the kitchen table. Deidara and Sasori were seated at the island in the middle of the kitchen, since there wasn't enough seating for everyone at the table.

"This actually tastes pretty good." Kisame said. "Who did most of the cooking this time?"

"I let Hidan do a lot of it." Kakuzu said.

"And he didn't burn anything?" the shark-nin looked at the Jashinist in surprise.

"Shut it, Shark Boy." Hidan said, glaring at Kisame with amethyst eyes.

"You're not putting vanilla on it?" Sasori raised his eyebrows.

"Holy shit!" Hidan jumped up and retrieved a bottle of vanilla.

"You only do this to gross us out, don't you?" Itachi asked as the Jashinist joined the group.

"I find it very good, Uchiha." Hidan glared at Itachi.

"So what are we doing after dinner, un?" Deidara asked, munching on his shrimp.

"Puppets." Sasori answered, somewhat dully.

"Come on, Sasori." Kakuzu said. "You work on those puppets every night. Do something sociable for once."

"But I don't like being sociable, Kakuzu." Sasori said. "I'd rather be with my puppets."

"You're so depressing, Danna." Deidara rolled his eyes.

"I am not depressing, Deidara." Sasori told the blonde. "And why in the name of humanity do you call me Danna? It's so unusual."

"Just a habit, un." Deidara said.

"Like that?" Kisame smiled.

"Like what?" Deidara frowned, not understanding what the shark-nin was saying.

"Adding un to the end of every other sentence." The Uchiha clarified, taking a bite of his shrimp.

"I guess so." Deidara said. "I don't even realise I'm doing it, hmm."

That much is obvious." Kisame said.

"Seriously, what are we gonna do?" Deidara asked.

"Final Fantasy VII." Kisame said at once.

"Is it any good?" Deidara asked.

The shark-nin stared at the blonde as though he didn't understand a word Deidara just said.

"You've never played Final Fantasy VII?" Kisame looked at the blonde incredulously.

"I've heard about it, un." Deidara said, not knowing if he had offended the shark-nin.

"You're in for it, Dei." Itachi said with a smile.

"In for what?" Deidara asked.

Kisame grabbed Deidara by his sleeve, and dragged him over to the PlayStation, where he threw Deidara to the floor and turned on the game system.

"You are going to play Final Fantasy VII whether you like it or not." Kisame said. "Got it?"

"Sure?" Deidara thought that Kisame had lost his sanity, but apparently, everyone in Akatsuki was this way,

"Don't kill him, Kisame." Hidan said. "We just got him."

"Thanks, Hidan, hmm." Deidara glared at the Jashinist.

"No problem." Hidan said.

"I'll let you stop once you blow up the Mako Reactor in Midgar." Kisame said.

"That's too much for the first time, Kisame!" Itachi exclaimed through a mouthful of shrimp.

"Not the one where Cloud falls through Aeris' church. The first one." Kisame said.

"Oh." Itachi said. "I guess that's not so bad."

Sasori retreated to his room, leaving his partner alone to deal with the horrors of Kisame and Final Fantasy VII. Why in the name of humanity did he have to be partnered with an idiot who rambled on art? Had Pein finally lost his find? Well, there wasn't anything Sasori could do about it.

**Kisame is a gaming nerd in case you haven't figured it out yet. poor dei...**

**next chapter: word of a mission gets akatsuki stirred up**


	3. A mission

**disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto.**

**It's Mika-chan! I'm at school and i just finished this chapter, so i thought I'd update! i hope you guys like it. sorry it's so short! let the deadly tale continue!**

Deidara walked out of his room the next morning to find Kakuzu and Hidan on the couch. And what were they doing? Having sex. What else?

"Can you guys do that somewhere else, un?" Deidara asked, feeling slightly sick.

"We might as well." Kakuzu said.

Hidan scowled, but got off of Kakuzu.

"That was too short." The Jashinist said.

"We'll make up for it later." Kakuzu assured him.

"We'd better." Hidan said darkly.

"Where's Sasori no Danna?" Deidara asked as he walked over to the kitchen in search of breakfast.

"Working on puppets." Kakuzu said, going to the kitchen table to balance his check book.

"Kakuzu, do you think he's acting a bit strange?" the silver haired ninja asked.

"Sasori?" Kakuzu looked at his partner and said, "I guess so, why?"

"He usually doesn't act like this." Hidan said.

"He doesn't, un?" Deidara frowned, grabbing a bowl of shrimp from the fridge and joining Kakuzu with a pair of chopsticks at the table. "I thought he was always like that."

"He usually isn't like that." The stitched-nin explained to the blonde.

"Well, he _is _usually snappy." Hidan said, pouring a glass of sakè from the fridge and joining his partner and the blonde.

"But he's been acting weird around Deidara." Kakuzu told Hidan. "He doesn't' act like that around everyone else."

"Good point." Hidan shrugged.

"It's because he doesn't like me, un?" Deidara thought this was a reasonable assumption.

"I can't figure Sasori out." Hidan said. "He's too goddamn confusing."

"Give him time, Deidara." Kakuzu said, eyes fixed on the check book in front of him. "He'll come around."

"Maybe." Hidan faced the stitched-nin and said, "Wanna pray with me?"

"Hell no!" Kakuzu exclaimed. "Why in hell would I want to do that?"

"Just a suggestion." Hidan shrugged, walking into his room with his sakè.

"Will I have to play more Final Fantasy VII, un?" Deidara asked.

"Probably." Kakuzu said. "You'll have to get to Aeris' church next. That's not so bad, though."

"I want to go on a mission." Deidara frowned.

"I think Leader-sama said something about you and Sasori going on a mission." Kakuzu said.

"Really?" Deidara looked at the stitched-nin, eyes full of excitement.

"I think so." Kakuzu said with a shrug.

"What kind of mission, un?" Deidara asked.

"I dunno." Kakuzu said. "Probably scroll retrieval."

"But that's so boring!" Deidara complained as he took a bite of shrimp.

"What is?"

Sasori walked into the kitchen, screwdriver in hand. It looked like the redhead had been working for a while because his face was covered with oil.

"Scroll retrieval." Kakuzu clarified. "You and Deidara might be going on a mission today."

"But I'm not done my puppet yet." Sasori said.

"Take another one." Kakuzu said.

"But this is my favourite." Sasori said, setting the screwdriver on the counter.

"You might wanna clean up a bit, Danna." Deidara said.

"No kidding?" Sasori rolled his eyes.

A door opened and Pein walked out of his room, looking very sleepy. Indeed, it looked like the Akatsuki leader hadn't slept in several nights.

"Leader-sama, do we have a mission?" Deidara asked.

"Scroll retrieval." Pein yawned.

"Go figure." Sasori rolled his eyes. "Where?"

"Konoha." Pein replied. "You will be looking for a set of scrolls on Orochimaru." He opened the fridge in search of food. "Since Orochimaru's from Konoha, they're likely to have information on his whereabouts."

"Oro left because he was an idiot." Sasori crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"That he was." Kakuzu nodded in agreement.

"So when do we leave?" Sasori asked the Akatsuki leader.  
"In about an hour." Pein replied as he sat down at the island with a bowl of shrimp and chopsticks in hand.

"Let's get ready, then." Sasori said. "It'll take forever for the brat to get ready."

Deidara glared at his partner, but remained silent. He walked off to his room to get his exploding clay and store it in the pouches at his side. The blonde didn't expect to need very much, since it was a scroll retrieval mission, but it was better to have too much than not enough. Especially since the ex-Iwa ninja didn't like to use kunai or shuriken in combat. Still, he packed a few kunai to be on the safe side.

When he was done packing, Deidara headed out to the main area of the hideout, waiting for his partner. Hidan was the only one in the living room now. Pein had probably gone back to bed and Kakuzu was most likely counting his money. Deidara didn't want to imagine how much money Kakuzu probably had. He _was _the "self-proclaimed" Treasurer of Akatsuki, so he had to be loaded.

"What's up?" Hidan asked, grabbing his enormous scythe from the coffee table, container of bleach in hand.

"Getting ready for the mission, un." Deidara said.

"What mission?" Hidan frowned.

"Sasori no Danna and I are going on a mission." Deidara said. "In Konoha."

"I doubt that the location of the mission is very important." Hidan said. "You're happy to go on a mission, so it doesn't really matter where it is, does it?"

"Not really, un." Deidara said happily. "I'm just waiting for Danna so we can get going."

"Calm down, Dei." Hidan said. "It's just a mission."

"But it's my first mission." Deidara said.

"You'll be sick of missions after a while." Hidan said. "Promise."

"Whatever, un." Deidara said.

Sasori came out of his room, holding a scroll in his hand.

"What's the scroll for, Danna?"

"It's my puppet, brat." Sasori said. He turned to Hidan and said, "Don't mess up my puppets, got it?"

"Whatever, scorpion." Hidan said.

"Come on, Deidara." Sasori said. "Let's get going. Those scrolls aren't going to wait forever."

**a mission? i always do scroll missions, don't i? review?**

**next chapter: what do deidara and sasori talk about on the way to konoha?**


	4. Deidara's first mission

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, do you think Itachi would be dead?**

**It's Mika-chan! Sorry for the wait! I was really unmotivated to write this chapter...but i hope this is a good chapter. For those who read Zephyr, my KH story, i have abandoned it because no one seems to like it at all. Well, on with the deadly tale!**

"For the love of all that is holy, Deidara! Do you ever shut up?"

Deidara and Sasori were halfway to Konoha and Sasori was at his wits end. Throughout most of the journey, the blonde had been talking non-stop about his "art" and how his was better than Sasori's.

"I like talking about art, un." Deidara said.

"But you've been talking about it since we left the hideout." Sasori snapped. "Can't you talk about something else? Or better yet, shut up."

"But I don't want to shut up, Danna." Deidara said.

"And why the hell do you call me Danna?" Sasori asked.

"I already told you, un." Deidara said. "It's a habit."

"Well, it's an annoying habit." Sasori said.

"But what else am I supposed to call you, un?" Deidara asked.

"Sasori." Sasori said.

"But that's boring!" Deidara complained.

"You don't call Hidan or Itachi Danna, so why call me Danna?" Sasori didn't think Deidara was being entirely honest.

"Because they're not my partner, un." Deidara said.

"You'd probably drive Hidan insane if you were his partner." Sasori said with a smile, knowing how violent the Jashinist could be.

"Why?" Deidara frowned.

"If you can drive me insane, you could probably do the same to Hidan." Sasori said.

* * *

"What do you think is wrong with Sasori?"

Hidan, Itachi and Kisame were in the living room at the hideout, trying to relieve hours of boredom. Hidan was cleaning his crimson scythe with bleach. The whole of the living room smelled of the cleaner. Kisame was playing Final Fantasy VII while Itachi was reading a book.

"What do you mean?" Itachi frowned, turning a page.

"He's been acting weird ever since Deidara got here." Hidan said.

"You don't think he misses Oro, do you?" Kisame mused.

"Sasori? Miss Orochimaru?" Itachi looked at his partner in amusement. "Don't make me laugh, Kisame."

"But it would make a little bit of sense." Kisame pointed out.

"No it doesn't." Hidan said. "Sasori hated Orochimaru." He swung the scythe around in a circle before setting it back down on the wood table that Sasori usually used as a worktable, but allowed Hidan to use. "He's fine as long as Deidara isn't around."

"You don't think it's Deidara, do you?" Kisame asked, pausing his video game so he could face the silver-haired Jashinist.

"It might be, Kisame." Itachi said.

"But what would Dei have to do with it?" the shark-nin frowned.

"How the Jashin-sama would I know?" Hidan said, sitting down on the couch. "Do I look like I know everything?"

"Obviously not or we wouldn't be having this conversation." Itachi said with a small smile.

"Are you mocking me, Uchiha?" Hidan glared at Itachi with amethyst eyes.

Itachi returned to his book and said, "I'm not saying anything."

* * *

"So what do these scrolls look like, Danna?"

Deidara and Sasori were almost to Konoha and Deidara was starting to get a little nervous about the mission. Sasori had assured the blonde time and time again that scroll retrievals were simple, but Deidara was worried all the same.

"You won't be getting the scrolls, brat." Sasori said.

"Then what will I be doing, un?" Deidara frowned.

"Causing a riot as a distraction so I can find the scrolls." Sasori said. "I know the layout of the building better than you do."

"Can I use my art?" Deidara asked, shifting blonde hair out of his good eye.

"You can't fight any other way, so you'll have to." Sasori rolled his eyes.

When they arrived at the gates, Deidara made a giant clay bird and took flight, leaving Sasori to find the scrolls in the main building of Konoha. He crawled inside Hiruko and made his way across the village, trying to avoid Deidara's falling bombs. Why oh why did he have to get a hyperactive teenager for a partner?

Sasori crawled outside Hiruko when he reached the Hokage's office. The puppet master was surprised that no one was in the room. But then again, Deidara was trying to destroy their village. They'd want to protect it. He ransacked the office, trying to find anything that looked like it might have something to do with his former partner. The puppet master found a set of scrolls marked AKATSUKI. After thinking for a fraction of a second, Sasori took them. Pein would be interested in how much Konoha knew about the Akatsuki. But Sasori had to find the scrolls on Orochimaru.

Sasori glanced out the window and saw Deidara raining clay bombs on the city. Some were small but others were much larger. Deidara had somehow managed to create a firebomb that blew apart part of the city and vanished after a few seconds. _He really does have a knack for explosives. He's holding up well, to say the least._ Sasori turned his attention back to the office where he saw a large pile of scrolls on the desk. Rummaging through the pile, Sasori found the scrolls he was looking for. Climbing back inside Hiruko, he made his way out of the office building and back over to the city gates.

Somehow, Deidara managed to see Sasori through all of the smoke created from his explosions. Deidara loved seeing explosions…but he had to get Sasori. He wasn't going to get a lecture today if he could help it. Though Sasori would probably lecture him about the fact that he was using the wrong type of bomb or something stupid like that. Deidara made his way over to the gates and landed the bird, allowing Sasori to jump on. After flying for a few miles, Deidara landed the bird again. The pair jumped off and the bird vanished, leaving the two to walk to the hideout.

"Did you find the scrolls, Sasori no Danna?" Deidara asked.

"Yep." Sasori said. "And I also found a set of scrolls on the Akatsuki."

"Did you bring them back, un?" Deidara asked.

"Of course I did, brat." Sasori said in Hiruko's deep voice. "Leader-sama will want to know what Konoha knows about us."

"And are you going to stay inside that thing until we get back?" Deidara asked.

"Why?" Sasori asked in reply.

"Because it kinda creeps me out, un." Deidara said.

"This is my way of concealing my identity, oh idiotic partner of mine." Sasori said, "So yes."

"It still creeps me out, un." Deidara shivered.

"It's very useful, Deidara." Sasori said.

"Did you see my art, Danna?" Deidara asked excitedly.

"I saw the incendiary bombs." Sasori said. "Nice touch."

"I almost ran out of clay, un." Deidara admitted sheepishly.

"You should have brought more." Sasori scolded his partner.

"I brought almost my entire stock of clay!" Deidara exclaimed. "I'm gonna have to get some more when I go back."

"Obviously." Sasori said.

Deidara rambled on about "art" just as he had done on the way to Konoha. Why did Sasori feel differently around Deidara than the rest of Akatsuki? And what was this feeling?

**Was it better than the last chapter? I think it got the name of Sasori's puppet right. review?**

**next chapter: back at the hideout. but why is it burned to the ground?**


	5. Back to the Base

**Disclaimer: Still don't own akatsuki or naruto...**

**It's Mika-chan! And chapter 5 is up! sorry this took so long to write. i really wasn't motivated to write it...i have officially stopped writing Incognito, since i feel that it's going nowhere. and i don't know about anyone else, but i am PISSED that Hidan and Kakuzu aren't in the episodes yet! does anyone know when they are? anyway, on with the deadly tale!**

Itachi was bored. Very, very bored. And Kisame was nowhere to be seen. What could he do? Deidara and Sasori wouldn't be back for a while, so he couldn't annoy them. Obviously not if they weren't there.

The Uchiha left his room and went into the living room to find Hidan playing _Kingdom Hearts II_ on the PlayStation.

"What, you aren't having sex with Kakuzu?" Itachi smiled.

"Shut it, Uchiha." Hidan snapped, amethyst eyes focused on the TV.

"There's nothing to do!" Itachi yelled at the top of his lungs, causing Hidan to jump up at least a mile.

"Obviously, if you're yelling about it." Hidan's amethyst eyes rolled to the ceiling.

"Seriously, Hidan! There's nothing to do!" Itachi exclaimed. "And Kisame's not here."

"Where _is _ol' shark boy?" Hidan asked, abandoning his video game and walked over the kitchen in search of sakè.

"He's with Zetsu." Itachi said longingly.

"You miss him." Hidan smiled, something the Jashinist didn't do very often outside the presence of Kakuzu.

"Of course I do." Itachi said.

"When are Dei and redhead getting back?" Hidan asked as he poured a glass of sakè.

"When they finish their mission, I expect." Itachi said.

"Funny, Uchiha." Hidan glared at Itachi.

The bolder to the cave was opened and Deidara and Sasori walked in.

"About time some people get here!" Itachi exclaimed.

"Hidan's here, Itachi." Sasori pointed out as he set the scrolls on the counter and joined Deidara and Hidan in the living room.

"But he's boring." Itachi said as he picked up _Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers_, a book he'd read at least a dozen times.

"I am _not_ boring." Hidan retorted.

"Yes, you are." Sasori rolled his eyes.

"How did the mission go?" Hidan asked.

"We got the scrolls." Sasori said. "Plus a set on the Akatsuki."

"We brought it back, un." Deidara said, whipping out his DS and turning it on.

"Obviously." Itachi said.

"Did you read what the scroll said?" Hidan asked.

"Of course not." Sasori said, looking offended. "I have enough sense to let Leader-sama read the scroll and tell us what it was about."

"He didn't tell us the contents of the last set though." The Uchiha said as he turned a page in his book.

"Then how did you guys find out what it was about?" Sasori frowned.

"I read the scroll when Leader-sama and Konan were on their mission in the Mist Village." Hidan said with a malicious smile.

"Hidan, if you weren't Immortal, I _know_ for a fact that Leader-sama would have murdered you." Sasori sighed, though he knew he should have expected this.

"But he still doesn't know." Hidan said.

"He doesn't know that we know, un?" Deidara frowned, eyes fixed on the DS in front of him.

"What do you mean 'we', brat?" Sasori snapped.

"I meant the Akatsuki as a whole." Deidara said, facing his partner, who was leaned against the plaid couch he was sitting on.

"But you don't know the contents of the scroll, now do you?" Sasori said.

"Not yet, un." Deidara said.

Sasori rolled his eyes. He didn't understand why Deidara considered himself such an important part of Akatsuki when he'd been there such a short amount of time. Maybe just being in the Akatsuki was good enough for the blonde. At any rate, Deidara did _not_ like to be left in the dark when it came to matters with the Akatsuki.

"So what are we going to do now?" Itachi asked, marking the place in his book with his finger as he sat up and looked at the group of S-Rank ninja in front of him.

"I might go pray for a bit." Hidan shrugged noncommittally. "Anyone want to join me?"

"Hidan, you always ask us this and we always give you the same response." Sasori sighed. "Why do you keep asking us?"

"Just letting you guys know the offer still stands." Hidan said as he walked off to his room.

"I'm gonna go shower, un." Deidara said. "I need to get this lair of crap off of me."

And with that, the blonde ex-Iwa ninja headed off to the shower, leaving Itachi and Sasori in the living room.

"Want something to eat?" Itachi asked.

"I technically don't need to eat, you know." Sasori said.

"Then why do you eat with us anyway?" Itachi frowned as he walked off to the kitchen to make a pizza.

"Out of habit I guess." Sasori shrugged. "Every time I eat, my parts start sticking together." He stood up and joined Itachi in the kitchen. "It takes forever to clean them and sometimes I have to make new parts."

"Then don't eat." Itachi rolled his Sharingan eyes as he grabbed a pepperoni pizza out of the freezer.

"Good idea." Sasori said as he sat down at the island.

"Sasori, Deidara doesn't know about your body, does he?" Itachi asked in a somewhat quieter voice than he had previously been using.

"I wasn't planning on telling him." Sasori said. "Do you think I should?"

"Of course you should!" Itachi exclaimed. "Deidara's going to think it's weird when he notices that you don't eat anything."

"I really don't think the brat's going to notice anything, Itachi." Sasori said with a short laugh.

"He notices a lot of things around here." Itachi said. "He's not as stupid as you think he is."

"So I should tell him." Sasori said, trying to reign in the conversation. "And might I ask how?"

"Just tell him." Itachi said as he leaned against the counter.

"The brat probably doesn't know anything about puppets." Sasori scoffed.

"You teach him about puppets and he can teach you about his 'art'." Itachi suggested. "I'm sure you don't know anything about his explosions."

"You're acting very out of character today, Itachi." Sasori said with a small smile. "Are you feeling ok?"

"I just miss Kisame." Itachi said sadly.

"Where'd he go?" the Puppet Master frowned.

"He's with Zetsu on a mission." Itachi scowled. "I couldn't go because they were going to Konoha."

"And you obviously can't go there." Sasori said.

"Well, I'm going to go finish my book." Itachi said, heading off to his room. "Let me know when the pizza's done, ok?"

Sasori remained in the kitchen for a few moments before heading off to his room. Resting on his worktable was an unfinished puppet in the shape of a praying mantis. This was a replica of one of Sasori's favourite puppets, but the original had been destroyed when he was on a mission with Hidan and Kakuzu in the Cloud Village. Hidan had accidentally (as the Jashinist said) smashed the puppet with his scythe, but Sasori didn't believe it.

The redhead turned his attention to this puppet, trying to focus his thoughts on something besides Deidara. He hadn't really thought about telling the blonde the truth about his body. Or what was left of it. What would Deidara say?

**am i forgiven for the late update? review?**

**next chapter: Hidan's recruiting again...**


	6. Hidan's Holiday

**Disclaimer: I only own the Day of Recruiting. Do you really think it exists?! Come on, people!**

**It's Mika-chan! this was a fun chapter to write. I say that a lot, don't i? And they usualy are. Anyway, this is kinda short...on with the deadly tale!**

When Hidan awoke the next morning, his eyes squinted at the large amount of light in his room. The Jashinist had used one of Sasori's drills and drilled a hole into the wall for a bit of light. Even Hidan liked a bit of light every now and then.

Stretching, Hidan got out of bed and walked over to his CD player so he could decide what to wake up to. It was a habit that Hidan had gotten into when he first joined the Akatsuki. The Jashinist usually listened to loud, vulgar, and offensive music in the morning so he could wake up completely. After going through his plethora of CDs, Hidan decided that he would blast Linkin Park at an enormously loud decibel level.

After going through a few songs, the Jashinist looked at the calendar to determine what the day was. What he noticed instead shocked and horrified him. Shocked because he wasn't expecting it and horrified because Hidan knew he should have remembered. It was a sacred day in the Jashin faith and Hidan had almost missed it entirely.

It was the Day of Recruiting

* * *

Deidara walked sleepily out to the kitchen in search of food. What he found instead was Itachi and a strange orange masked ninja Deidara had never seen before. As he approached the kitchen, Deidara asked, "Who is this, Itachi?"

"Oh, you haven't met him, have you?" Itachi said with a smile. "Deidara, this is Tobi. Tobi, Deidara."

"So you're the new guy, huh?" the ninja called Tobi assumed.

"Yes, un." Deidara nodded.

"I was on a mission with Zetsu-san and Kisame-senpai, so I wasn't here when you arrived." Tobi said.

"Zetsu-san?" Deidara frowned.

"Zetsu is a Venus Fly Trap and he has two sides that frequently converse with each other." Itachi clarified for the blonde.

"Oh, lovely." Deidara said sarcastically.

"Where _is_ ol' Plant Boy, Tobi?" Itachi asked as Deidara rummaged through cupboards for food.

"He's spying on the Cloud Village for a few days, then he's going to the Waterfall Village." Tobi replied.

"Spying, un?" Deidara frowned.

"Zetsu is the spy of the group." Itachi explained to the blonde.

"And the cannibal." Tobi nodded.

"Huh?!" Deidara was _really_ confused now.

"Whenever we need a body disposed of, we have Zetsu eat it." Itachi said patiently.

"Why can't Sasori no Danna use it for a puppet, un?" Deidara asked as he filled a bowl of Lucky Charms.

"Sometimes we can't do that." Itachi said.

"And then Zetsu-san gets to eat it!" Tobi exclaimed.

"You're too cheerful, Tobi." Itachi's Sharingan eyes rolled to the ceiling.

"But I'm always like this, Itachi-senpai." Tobi clarified.

It was at that moment that a bang echoed throughout the cave. Hidan's door had flung open and the Jashinist was making his way to the kitchen, looking very horrified.

"What now, Hidan?" Itachi sighed, obviously used to Hidan's obscure behaviour.

"Do you know what day it is?" Hidan asked.

"March 18th?" Deidara's reply sounded like a question.

"And what is so special about March 18th?" Hidan asked again.

"No idea!" Tobi exclaimed.

"It's the Day of Recruiting!" Hidan yelled, slamming his palms on the countertop forcefully.

"How _could_ we forget?" Itachi's words dripped with sarcasm.

"I completely forgot about it!" Hidan exclaimed.

Itachi stared at the Jashinist in awe. Forgetting one of the most sacred holidays in Jashinism was _not_ something Hidan would do.

"Are you feeling ok, Hidan?"

"Of course I am!" Hidan snapped angrily as he stormed back into his room.

Deidara looked at the other two and said, "What is the Day of Recruiting, un?"

"It's a day in Jashinism when Jashinists try to get new people to join their religion." Tobi explained.

"I hate this holiday…" Itachi rubbed his temples.

"But Hidan's the only Jashinist, right?" Deidara questioned.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he won't try to recruit us." Itachi told the blonde.

"Oh." Deidara said, munching on some cereal.

"No matter what Hidan says, don't join." Itachi said. "It's a waste of time."

* * *

"What part of no don't you understand, Hidan?!"

Sasori was in his room when he heard shouting from the living room, followed by the sounds of a fight. Rolling his eyes, the Puppet Master put down the puppet he had been working on and walked out to the living room of the Akatsuki hideout. There he found Kakuzu and Hidan wrestling on the floor, knocking just about anything and everything over. And there, off to one side of the room, was Deidara, playing _Final Fantasy X-2_, lost in his own little world.

"You _know_ this is a sacred holiday, Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled.

"Look, I love you, Hidan, but I will not be forced to join this religion of yours!" Kakuzu shouted in reply.

"But I want to save you from the perils of Hell!" Hidan exclaimed, though he _had_ to know that he would burn in Hell anyway.

Kakuzu could see that he wasn't going to calm Hidan down with words, so he simply removed his face cover and pressed his lips to the Jashinist's. Hidan, completely startled, kissed back in a very aggressive way. They kissed very aggressively, as if to say, "Why can't you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" or "Why won't you listen to me?"

Sasori had to wonder if this was how the pair settled all of their arguments. But he could see what Kakuzu meant when he had kissed Hidan. It was impossible to calm Hidan down by talking to him; Sasori couldn't see how Kakuzu made Hidan listen to him. Maybe this was how they settled their arguments…

Eventually, the kisses became less aggressive and more sexual, in a way. At some point, the Puppet Master decided that this was too much so he said rather loudly, "About done yet?"

Instantaneously, Kakuzu and Hidan sprang apart from each other, Hidan knocking into the couch while Kakuzu fell back onto the horrid paisley recliner.

"What happened?" Deidara asked as he realized what had occurred.

"Kakuzu and Hidan were having a make-out session." Sasori said with a small smile.

"You try to calm him down, then, Sasori!" Kakuzu snapped as he put on his face cover again.

"So what did he do this time?" Sasori asked.

"Tried to convert me." Kakuzu replied.

"Again?" Sasori raised his eyebrows.

"I don't see why everyone gets pissed off about this." Hidan said as he climbed into the couch he crashed into.

"You do it so much, Hidan." Sasori shook his head sadly.

"No he doesn't, un." Deidara said, turning off the game system.

"Give it time, Dei." Kakuzu informed the blonde. "You haven't been here long enough."

"I didn't just get here, though." Deidara frowned.

"True." Kakuzu said. "But you haven't been here long enough to know how often he does it."

"But it's the Day of Recruiting, Kakuzu!" Hidan exclaimed.

"I know, Hidan." Kakuzu's eyes found his partner's. "But that doesn't mean that you have to ask everyone again. Especially when you know our answers."

"I can't go to other cities and try to convert people! Seriously!" Hidan exclaimed. "Leader-sama would have my head!"

"That expression isn't as meaningful when you're Immortal, you know." Sasori smirked.

"Oh, what do you know?" Hidan scowled.

"A lot, thank you very much." Sasori smiled.

"But seriously! Leader-sama wouldn't let me go!" Hidan exclaimed.

"Did you even ask him?" Kakuzu looked sceptically at the Jashinist.

"No…" Hidan said sheepishly.

"Ask him next time." Kakuzu said.

"Come on, Deidara." Sasori said, dragging the blonde toward the door. "Let's get some training in today."

**Rushed ending, i know, but i had to go eat dinner. And i decided to have Tobi in this story after all. he wasn't supposed to be in it originally. Was it a good chapter? reviews make Deidara and Sasori's art better.**

**next chapter: a video game contest between Itachi and Kisame**


	7. Training and Guitar Hero

**Disclaimer: I don't own Guitar Hero, Dragonforce or their songs...i don't own anything for that matter.**

**It's Mika-chan! Sorry for the slow update. I actually played Guitar Hero at my friend's graduation party! i didn't even get to finish the song, i was so bad...but at least i played it! and now i'm into Dragonforce! ah well. on with the deadly tale!**

When Itachi woke up a week later, the Uchiha heard noises out from the living room. And the noises sounded a lot like a video game that a certain shark-nin was all too fond of.

Sure enough, when Itachi walked out to the living room, he found his lover sitting in front of the large TV screen, playing what? Final Fantasy VII. But this time Kisame was playing Dirge of Cerberus instead of the original, which struck the Sharingan user as peculiar.

"Are you feeling ok, Kisame?" Itachi asked as he walked over to his lover and rested his chin on top of the shark-nin's head.

"I want to see how many video games I can play today." Kisame said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"And how long have you been at it?" Itachi wondered.

"Since three in the morning." Kisame replied.

"Take a break." Itachi commanded.

"Why, Itachi?!" Kisame whined.

"Because you always tell me I need to rest my eyes." Itachi explained. "You need to rest yours too."

"You need to rest yours or you'll go blind." Kisame retorted.

"True, but I don't want yours to go bad as well." Itachi said. "We both can't be blind together."

"That's kinda romantic, though." Kisame said, finally looking at his lover.

"No it's not." Itachi said. "I wouldn't be able to see how sexy you can look."

"Same with you, Itachi." Kisame said. "Fine, I'll take a break. But can I beat this boss first?"

"No." Itachi said, turning off the PlayStation.

"Damn." Kisame cursed under his breath.

"I heard that." Itachi said. "We can play Guitar Hero later."

"Yay!" Kisame exclaimed, following the Uchiha to the kitchen for breakfast.

"Is everyone else up?" Itachi asked.

"Leader-sama and Konan are in Konoha, Sasori and Deidara are training outside, Tobi's watching _Stanley_ in his room and Kakuzu and Hidan are playing chess in Kakuzu's room." Kisame said.

"And Zetsu?" Itachi prompted.

"He's in the Waterfall Village." Kisame added. "And we are here."

"No kidding?" Itachi rolled his Sharingan eyes.

"So can we play some Guitar Hero?" Kisame asked hopefully.

"Not yet, 'same." Itachi said. "We need to eat breakfast first."

* * *

A certain blonde and redhead were standing a few yards away from the ridge that led to the river in front of the Akatsuki hideout. Deidara was armed with clay bombs that took the shape of spiders, scorpions and penguins, for some strange reason, whilst Sasori was standing a few feet in front of Deidara. In front of Sasori, however, was a praying mantis puppet, a puppet that Sasori was very fond of, in fact. Sasori had added a technique that allowed the claw to separate itself from the body and attack the opponent, which Sasori used a lot when he used this puppet.

Both stood at stances that said, "Come and get me," waiting to see who would be the first to move.

Deidara broke the stillness by throwing a smoke bomb at Sasori. Sasori, figuring that this would be Deidara's first move, quickly sprang to one side and saw Deidara racing down one side of the ridge. Making a hand sign, the Puppet Master allowed the claws on the mantis puppet to attack Deidara. Much to Sasori's surprise, however, Deidara vanished.

It had been a clone.

Cursing under his breath, he looked around for signs of his younger partner. Soon, he saw a clay scorpion flying overhead in his direction. Sasori leapt out of the way just in time before the bomb exploded into a small mushroom cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, he recalled that the bomb had come from a nearby forest. Sasori stood and walked off, using his fingers to make the puppet mimic the moves of the Puppet Master.

When he arrived at the forest, Sasori looked around for signs of Deidara. When he saw a bomb on the ground, the redhead grew suspicious. A proper ninja never laid something in plain sight unless it was a trap. Suspecting this, Sasori created a clone of himself, which approached the bomb and picked it up.

Sasori was right.

As soon as the Sasori-clone picked up the bomb, it was caught up in a net and was hung inside said net on the branch of a nearby tree. A cry came from nearby. Soon enough, the blonde came running to see who had been caught. As soon as Deidara's eyes fell on the net, he became confused. Nothing was inside, since the clone of Sasori had vanished soon after capture. Deidara then saw his partner standing just a few feet away from him.

"What gives, Danna?" Deidara demanded.

"A ninja should never be too obvious." Sasori said with the air of a teacher lecturing a classroom of students. "I figured this might be a trap, so I sent a clone to figure out."

Deidara scowled and said, "Let's go in, un. I'm getting tired."

"Already?" Sasori frowned as they walked out of the forest.

"I was training at 4 in the morning when Kisame woke me up with his video games, un." Deidara explained.

"I hope for his sake he took a break." Sasori said.

"Not from what Kisame said, un." Deidara said.

When they arrived inside the base, they found Itachi playing Guitar Hero whilst his partner was sitting on the nearby couch, playing Hidan's electric guitar to the same tune.

"How did you get the guitar from Hidan?" Sasori frowned.

"It's his old one." Itachi said, not taking his Sharingan eyes off the screen. "Dammit!"

"Missed again." Kisame said.

"This is a hard song! Shut up!" Itachi snapped.

"That _is_ hard." Sasori observed as he and Deidara joined the other two in the living room.

"What is?" Deidara asked.

"_Through the Fire and the Flame_ by Dragonforce." Kisame told the blonde.

"Even Kisame hasn't beaten it yet." Sasori said.

"Really, un?" Deidara gasped in awe.

"Nope." Kisame shook his head. "I _almost _did."

"Fuck!" Itachi yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Things get a little tense whenever someone's playing Guitar Hero." Sasori told the blonde. "How far did you get, Itachi?"

"The middle of the last chorus!" Itachi exclaimed as he pretended to smash the guitar on the floor in anger.

"Don't abuse the guitar, 'tachi." Kisame said, trading guitars with the Uchiha.

"Do something easier." Sasori said.

"I'm doing _Miss Murder_." Kisame said.

"Don't sing this time." Sasori commanded.

"I don't sing when I'm playing, you know." Kisame said as the song started.

"Do we have _Rock Band_?" Deidara asked.

"Do we have a rock band or the video game?" Sasori asked.

"The video game, un." Deidara said.

"Nope. Too much money." Sasori shook his head. "Kakuzu didn't want to spend a lot of money, so we got Guitar Hero instead of _Rock Band_."

"They're about the same price, aren't they?" Itachi asked, strumming away.

"I have no clue." Sasori shook his head.

"Well, I'm going to my room for a bit." Deidara said. "Maybe get some sleep in, un."

"All right." Sasori said. "See ya."

"Later, un." Deidara said.

When he arrived in his room, he went to his worktable and found his project lying on said table, waiting patiently to be worked on. He'd had an idea when he was on the mission with Sasori and wanted to see if it would actually work. Kakuzu said it would and Deidara could trust what the stitched-nin said, since Kakuzu was the closest thing to a doctor in the Akatsuki. Just what was Deidara making? An eye scope for missions.

He had no idea what his Danna would say, though. The Puppet Master had told Deidara had didn't like it when people messed with their body in unusual ways. This was probably why he didn't like Hidan's praying sessions so much. The only thing really different would be that only one of Deidara's grey-blue eyes would be seen.

Deidara began to work on his project, trying to ignore what he thought Sasori would probably think.

**yeah...poor Itachi. he can't beat the song. feel free to message with questions, comments or concerns. I _will_ respond to flames. you have been warned. review?**

**next chapter: Sasori's confession? **


	8. Music Debates and Confessions

**Disclaimer: I don't own Akatsuki or Naruto.**

**It's Mika-chan! this is an important chapter. so take note! : anyway, tomorrow is my last day of school, and i'm excited! but i have a final in chemistry...anyone wanna take it for me? anyway, on with the deadly tale!**

Sasori sat bolt upright in the bedroom that he shared with Deidara. To save on space, Pein had ordered that all partners must share rooms. This wasn't such a bad thing, since most of the Akatsuki members were dating their partners anyway. This was, however, bad for Sasori, since he wanted nothing to do with his blonde partner.

It took a moment for Sasori to remember why he had been so abruptly awakened from his sleep. As soon as he realized it, though, he knew it was obvious.

Loud noises were coming from the living room, mainly loud music that didn't sound like music to the Puppet Master. Sasori got out of bed and left the room to find a certain Jashinist sitting on the couch by the stereo. Music was blasting from the speakers and Hidan was strumming his electric guitar along with the music.

"Hidan, turn it off." Sasori managed to yell over the volume.

Upon hearing the redhead, Hidan paused the song and said, "Why?"

"It's loud enough to wake the dead." Sasori groaned.

"Whatever." Hidan rolled his eyes as he walked into the kitchen for some food, still holding his precious guitar.

"Why are you awake, anyway?" Sasori wanted to know as the Jashinist poured a bowl of cereal.

"Kakuzu was snoring." Hidan scowl.

"That's your problem." Sasori said.

"So are you going to tell him?" Hidan asked though a spoonful of cereal.

"Tell who what?" Sasori frowned.

"Deidara that you're a puppet." Hidan clarified.

"I guess so." Sasori shrugged. "He's going to figure out sooner of later, isn't he?"

"Um…yeah!" Hidan looked incredulously at the Puppet Master. "When are you going to do it?"

"I dunno." Sasori shrugged again. "Sometime next year?"

"He's going to figure it out before then, you know." Hidan said, eating some more of his cereal.

"I know, I know." Sasori said. "It's not easy telling someone that you're a puppet."

"Got that right." Hidan nodded.

"How would you know?" Sasori raised his eyebrows. "You're not a puppet."

"Hey, you think it's easy being Immortal and staying around for years on end?" Hidan retorted.

"And what if he does what Orochimaru did?" Sasori pointed out.

"You mean leave?" Hidan questioned.

"No, what he did when I told him I was a puppet." Sasori clarified.

"Oh, that." Hidan said, frowning at an obviously unpleasant memory. "I don't think Deidara would do that."

"He might." Sasori said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "You never know what he's going to do."

"He can't be that bad." Hidan said through a spoonful of cereal.

"You haven't been on as many missions with him as I have." Sasori said.

"Just hurry up and tell him or I will." Hidan said, finishing the cereal and placing the bowl and spoon in the dishwasher.

"Don't you dare, Hidan." Sasori growled.

"Ok, ok!" Hidan exclaimed, noting the seriousness in the Puppet Master's voice. "You can tell him."

* * *

Later that day, Kakuzu, Hidan and Itachi were in the living room doing various things. Kakuzu was balancing his checkbook again, Hidan was playing _Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass _on his DS, and Itachi was attempting to read _The Taming of the Shrew_. It was hard for the Uchiha to concentrate since the stereo behind the Jashinist was blasting some form of music.

"Hidan, can you at least turn the volume down?" Itachi requested.

"But it's Metallica!" Hidan whined.

"Sounds like noise to me." Kakuzu said, eyes still focused on the checkbook.

"It's not noise, Kakuzu." Hidan sighed. "It's music."

"Music is stuff like Mozart and Bach." Itachi corrected the amethyst eyed-ninja.

"That's what I call shit." Hidan said.

"It's more music than that will ever be." Kakuzu said, gesturing over to the stereo.

"What about classic rock?" Hidan wanted to know.

"What about it?" Itachi asked as he turned a page in his book.

"That's music, isn't it?" Hidan questioned.

"To some, yes." Kakuzu responded.

"What do you mean by that?" Hidan's amethyst eyes snapped to his partner.

"Some consider it music." The stitched-nin explained. "Others, like myself, do not."

"You're so weird, Kakuzu." Hidan shook his head at his lover's lack of music interest.

"Some rock is ok." Itachi said, which surprised the Jashinist.

"Really? What do you listen to?" Hidan wanted to know.

"The Goo-Goo Dolls, Carbon Leaf, Simple Plan…" Itachi counted off on his fingers.

"Boring stuff." Hidan said.

"They are not _boring_, Hidan." Itachi said, putting particular emphasis on the word 'boring'

"What's boring?"

Pein and Konan walked into the room, having just returned from their mission in Konoha.

"We're having a music debate, leader-sama." Kakuzu said, closing his checkbook and turning off his calculator.

"I like Disturbed, Three Days Grace, Coheed and Cambria and Sting." Pein said at once.

"Sting?" all the other Akatsuki said as one.

"Why in the world do you listen to Sting?" Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"They have some good stuff." Pein shrugged as he walked off to the showers.

"What about you, Konan?" Itachi asked as he marked his place in his book.

"Soundtrack stuff, mostly." Konan replied as she leaned against the couch.

"What from?" Kakuzu asked.

"Movies." Konan said. "_Memoirs of a Geisha, Music and Lyrics_…that sort of thing."

"That sounds kinda boring." Hidan said bluntly.

"Kisame listens to game soundtracks." Itachi pointed out.

"You'd know that, wouldn't you?" Konan said as she walked off to the room she shared with Pein.

"I wonder what Zetsu listens to?" Itachi wondered.

"Probably rainforest stuff." Hidan replied.

"Hidan, rainforests can't make music." Kakuzu shook his head at his partner's foolishness.

"I meant tribal music! You know, the music that has no words but isn't soundtrack?" Hidan looked to the other two for help in defining the music.

"You mean instrumental?" Itachi suggested.

"That's it." Hidan nodded.

"Probably. That's what he looks like he'd listen to, anyway." Kakuzu said.

* * *

Deidara and Sasori were sitting on the cliff by the Akatsuki entrance, both exhausted from training. The pair had been training for most of the day and now the use of so much energy was beginning to catch up to them.

"Deidara, I need to tell you something." Sasori said.

"What is it, un?" Deidara frowned.

"Everyone in the Akatsuki already knows this, but I wanted to be the one to tell you this." Sasori began.

"So why are you telling me this two months after I joined, un?" Deidara wanted to know.

"Because I wasn't sure when I should tell you." Sasori replied.

"And what is it?" the blonde implored.

"I'm a puppet." Sasori said, trying to sound nonchalant but failing.

"A puppet, un?!" Deidara yelped in surprise.

There was no way that Sasori could be a puppet. He could walk and talk and do everything that a regular human would. Then again, Deidara had always had suspicions about why his partner wouldn't eat. The blonde had asked the other Akatsuki about this, but they had remained tight lipped. Was this the reason why?

"I knew you wouldn't take this well." Sasori grimaced.

"But why, un?" Deidara wanted to know. "Why would you do something like that to yourself?"

"Deidara, you know how you think your explosions are works of art?" Sasori began.

"Yes, un." Deidara nodded.

"That's how I feel about puppets. I wanted to be part of that art, to be eternal." Sasori continued. "It took a while, but I eventually became a human puppet. Now I feel like I've accomplished my reason for living, Deidara. I can be part of the art that I love so much."

"But how are you still alive, un?" Deidara inquired, lying back on the grass.

"The only living part about me anymore is my heart. If my heart were destroyed, I'd die. It's that simple." Sasori said.

"But doesn't it feel weird?" Deidara questioned.

"Not really. It did at first, but I got used to it." Sasori said. "It still feels unusual not needing to bathe or eat."

"I bet it does, un." Deidara said. He looked at Sasori and said, "Why are you telling me this, Danna?"

"Because you're my partner and should know the truth." Sasori said. "Do you understand now, Deidara?"

"Hai, Danna, un." Deidara nodded. "But you're wrong about something."

"About what?" Sasori frowned.

"Art is _not_ eternal, un." Deidara said. "Art is fleeting!"

"Not again…" Sasori sighed.

And with that, the two began to argue about the true definition of art. Sasori felt much better knowing that Deidara knew the truth. The blonde hadn't reacted quite the way that the redhead had imagined, and that was a very good thing.

But, somehow, Sasori still felt unusual around Deidara. It was a feeling that he hadn't experienced before. That was the scary thing. What puzzled Sasori was the fact that he only experienced this feeling when he was around Deidara. It didn't matter who else was around; if Deidara was near him, Sasori felt it. But what was it?

**poor Sasori's so confused...review?**

**next chapter: Sasori gets a physical from Kakuzu**


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